The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Little Dot aka my energy has been really off | enero 2025 | Still in captivity |
| Baron Amos aka i still have your hoodie | enero 2025 | Still in captivity |
| Patient Clive aka i left my toothbrush there | diciembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Squire Nell aka we ran out of things to say | diciembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Elder Elias aka no bad blood right | diciembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Squire Florent aka i've felt this way for a while | diciembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Master Hendrik aka i'm seeing someone now | diciembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Brave Magda aka i can't read minds | diciembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Chief Pascale aka i'll always love you as a person | diciembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Sofía aka i'm manifesting a different chapter | diciembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Prince Klaus aka i'll always love you as a person | diciembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Professor Oleg aka we were basically already broken up | diciembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Juno aka i didn't block you my account changed | diciembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Serge aka labels ruin things | diciembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Gideon aka the moon was doing something | diciembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Brave Balthazar aka i'll be a better person eventually | noviembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nabil aka i was going to wait until after the wedding | noviembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Young Anders aka you'd get on really well actually | noviembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Zainab aka i don't want to hurt you | noviembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Rasmus aka one day this will make sense | noviembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Elder Wanda aka sorry i missed your call in March | noviembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Duchess Kacper aka i've got a lot going on with work | noviembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Cillian aka i thought you'd moved on already | noviembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Governor Flavia aka you always knew i was a mess | noviembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sweet Ilona aka our friendship is too important | noviembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Matron Barnaba aka i knew you'd react like this | noviembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Phoebe aka you're being dramatic | noviembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Ferdinand aka i'm allergic to labels and cats | noviembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Uncle Roberta aka nothing happened technically | octubre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Luz aka it was toxic for both of us | octubre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Mathias aka i liked her photo by accident | octubre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Envoy Jasmin aka we're cool yeah | octubre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Governor Delia aka i'll call you when i land | octubre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Rector Roberta aka maybe we should take a little break | octubre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Darius aka i left my toothbrush there | octubre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Careless Lottie aka can we not do this over text | octubre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Honest Vittorio aka i'm moving to Berlin probably | octubre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Padre Elodie aka we made each other worse | octubre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Duchess Celeste aka i was waiting for the right moment | octubre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Maja aka it's complicated | octubre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Patient Farida aka communication was always our issue | octubre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Konstantin aka i got a job offer in Dubai | septiembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Joaquín aka i still have your hoodie | septiembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Master Saoirse aka nothing happened technically | septiembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Steward Rasmus aka i'm a scorpio it's not my fault | septiembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Solveig aka i'm doing ayahuasca in October | septiembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Hendrik aka i thought i wanted this | septiembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Bailiff Jonas aka i muted you for my own sake | septiembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Bo aka it's not you it's genuinely me | septiembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Saint Tamsin aka i was clear from the start | septiembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |