The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Little Dot aka my energy has been really off | Januar 2025 | Still in captivity |
| Baron Amos aka i still have your hoodie | Januar 2025 | Still in captivity |
| Patient Clive aka i left my toothbrush there | Dezember 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Squire Nell aka we ran out of things to say | Dezember 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Elder Elias aka no bad blood right | Dezember 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Squire Florent aka i've felt this way for a while | Dezember 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Master Hendrik aka i'm seeing someone now | Dezember 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Brave Magda aka i can't read minds | Dezember 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Chief Pascale aka i'll always love you as a person | Dezember 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Sofía aka i'm manifesting a different chapter | Dezember 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Prince Klaus aka i'll always love you as a person | Dezember 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Professor Oleg aka we were basically already broken up | Dezember 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Juno aka i didn't block you my account changed | Dezember 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Serge aka labels ruin things | Dezember 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Gideon aka the moon was doing something | Dezember 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Brave Balthazar aka i'll be a better person eventually | November 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nabil aka i was going to wait until after the wedding | November 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Young Anders aka you'd get on really well actually | November 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Zainab aka i don't want to hurt you | November 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Rasmus aka one day this will make sense | November 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Elder Wanda aka sorry i missed your call in March | November 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Duchess Kacper aka i've got a lot going on with work | November 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Cillian aka i thought you'd moved on already | November 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Governor Flavia aka you always knew i was a mess | November 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sweet Ilona aka our friendship is too important | November 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Matron Barnaba aka i knew you'd react like this | November 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Phoebe aka you're being dramatic | November 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Ferdinand aka i'm allergic to labels and cats | November 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Uncle Roberta aka nothing happened technically | Oktober 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Luz aka it was toxic for both of us | Oktober 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Mathias aka i liked her photo by accident | Oktober 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Envoy Jasmin aka we're cool yeah | Oktober 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Governor Delia aka i'll call you when i land | Oktober 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Rector Roberta aka maybe we should take a little break | Oktober 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Darius aka i left my toothbrush there | Oktober 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Careless Lottie aka can we not do this over text | Oktober 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Honest Vittorio aka i'm moving to Berlin probably | Oktober 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Padre Elodie aka we made each other worse | Oktober 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Duchess Celeste aka i was waiting for the right moment | Oktober 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Maja aka it's complicated | Oktober 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Patient Farida aka communication was always our issue | Oktober 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Konstantin aka i got a job offer in Dubai | September 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Joaquín aka i still have your hoodie | September 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Master Saoirse aka nothing happened technically | September 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Steward Rasmus aka i'm a scorpio it's not my fault | September 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Solveig aka i'm doing ayahuasca in October | September 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Hendrik aka i thought i wanted this | September 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Bailiff Jonas aka i muted you for my own sake | September 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Bo aka it's not you it's genuinely me | September 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Saint Tamsin aka i was clear from the start | September 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |