The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Little Hakim aka i'm seeing someone now | mayo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Foreman Mercedes aka Mercury is in retrograde | mayo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Fenella aka i thought i wanted this | mayo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Arjun aka i'm doing ayahuasca in October | mayo 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Simone aka happy birthday by the way | mayo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Lady Cesar aka let's keep it casual for now | mayo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Big Eamon aka i don't really believe in labels | abril 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Coach Lars aka i have a kid now | abril 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Admiral Casimir aka i'm still figuring myself out | abril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Zelda aka i muted you for my own sake | abril 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Lord Chidi aka i need to focus on myself for a while | abril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Benedetta aka the timing has always been our problem | abril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Baroness Livia aka i have a kid now | abril 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Hector aka you were the best thing that happened to me | abril 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Bailiff Lidia aka i hope you find what you're looking for | abril 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Hopeless Nazir aka i took a test and i'm an ENTP | abril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Herald Nadja aka i don't want kids and you did | abril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Carlota aka i just need a bit of space | abril 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Prince Cora aka i deleted the app | abril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Marchioness Blaise aka you deserved better than what i gave | marzo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Nurse Samira aka you'll find someone amazing | marzo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Natasha aka can i still come to your sister's thing | marzo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Cosmo aka i'm bad at feelings | marzo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Brigadier Gustavo aka i stopped feeling it around March | marzo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Vicar Astrid aka nothing happened it just stopped | marzo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Nerea aka i'm doing a digital detox | marzo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sweet Heidi aka i'm still figuring myself out | marzo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Brigadier Tariq aka you always knew i was a mess | marzo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Colette aka communication was always our issue | marzo 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| The Honourable Otto aka we were basically already broken up | marzo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Godfrey aka i wasn't going to tell you like this | marzo 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Fausto aka no hard feelings right | marzo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Matron Nikolai aka my flatmate answered my phone | febrero 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Jorge aka i need to focus on myself for a while | febrero 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Clive aka i unfollowed you it wasn't personal | febrero 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Enzo aka i can explain the receipts | febrero 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Halina aka we were on a break at that point | febrero 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Thierry aka i was single when it started | febrero 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Magistrate Hakim aka i thought i wanted this | febrero 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Doctor Manon aka are you up | febrero 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Dalia aka i was clear from the start | febrero 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Ragnar aka i'm not proud of how i handled it | febrero 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Magda aka i'm allergic to labels and cats | febrero 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Iona aka i genuinely forgot we had plans | febrero 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Bailiff Arjun aka i miss the old us | febrero 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Bishop Solveig aka i'm choosing myself for once | enero 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Viscount Celeste aka i don't want to put a label on it | enero 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Reverend Apollo aka you're being dramatic | enero 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Alderman Gemma aka no bad blood right | enero 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Margit aka you would have done the same | enero 2024 | Still in captivity |