The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Little Dinah aka my new girlfriend follows you now | septiembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Katya aka i don't really believe in labels | septiembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Viggo aka you're reading too much into it | septiembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Alfie aka i'm scared of how much i like you | septiembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Padre Eamon aka i don't know what i want yet | agosto 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Rector Pepa aka i stopped feeling it around March | agosto 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Percy aka my life is really chaotic at the moment | agosto 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Manon aka random but how have you been | agosto 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Governor Nerea aka i should have said something sooner | agosto 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Deacon Karim aka i'm moving to Lisbon in the spring | agosto 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Rector Jelena aka let's revisit this in a few months | agosto 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Jonas aka in another life definitely | agosto 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Brave Leif aka you'll find someone amazing | agosto 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Jelena aka this is exactly why i didn't say anything | agosto 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Tiny Laila aka i hope you meet someone incredible | agosto 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Contessa Pepa aka i'll call you when i land | agosto 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sergeant Damaris aka i was upfront about all of this | agosto 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Brave Isadora aka i'm just not in a good place right now | julio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Lord Elodie aka i don't think i deserve you | julio 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Mohan aka i don't do the girlfriend thing | julio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Gemma aka can i still come to your sister's thing | julio 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Leonardo aka you were the best thing that happened to me | julio 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Denzel aka i was going to tell you | julio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Lachlan aka i saw your story and thought of you | julio 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Marshal Jelena aka i left my toothbrush there | julio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Remy aka i thought we agreed to keep it light | julio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Prince Zebedee aka i didn't want to ruin your birthday | julio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Colonel Sofía aka the moon was doing something | julio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Señor Joaquín aka my therapist mentioned you again | julio 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Sweet Galina aka i muted you for my own sake | julio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Wilbur aka can we not do this over text | junio 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Emil aka no bad blood right | junio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Colonel Marcela aka i know this is out of nowhere | junio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Countess Amos aka i hope we can be adults about this | junio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Maestro Fausto aka the plant died by the way | junio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Sister Winifred aka i got a job offer in Dubai | junio 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Admiral Octavio aka i was in airplane mode all weekend | junio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Saint Nico aka work is absolutely insane right now | junio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Flavia aka i have avoidant attachment it's a whole thing | junio 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Ebba aka i saw it coming honestly | junio 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Leif aka i'm not ready for a relationship | junio 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Dean Ilona aka my ex is going through a really hard time | junio 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Maestro Gabor aka can i still come to your sister's thing | junio 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Rocco aka i don't want to hurt you | mayo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Javier aka i think i just needed the attention | mayo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Helio aka no bad blood right | mayo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Dilan aka i'm not great at commitment | mayo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Agnes aka she's nothing like you i promise | mayo 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Prince Elias aka my sister was going through something | mayo 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Rufus aka i should have said something sooner | mayo 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |