The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Little Dot aka my energy has been really off | janvier 2025 | Still in captivity |
| Baron Amos aka i still have your hoodie | janvier 2025 | Still in captivity |
| Patient Clive aka i left my toothbrush there | décembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Squire Nell aka we ran out of things to say | décembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Elder Elias aka no bad blood right | décembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Squire Florent aka i've felt this way for a while | décembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Master Hendrik aka i'm seeing someone now | décembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Brave Magda aka i can't read minds | décembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Chief Pascale aka i'll always love you as a person | décembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Sofía aka i'm manifesting a different chapter | décembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Prince Klaus aka i'll always love you as a person | décembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Professor Oleg aka we were basically already broken up | décembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Juno aka i didn't block you my account changed | décembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Serge aka labels ruin things | décembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Gideon aka the moon was doing something | décembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Brave Balthazar aka i'll be a better person eventually | novembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nabil aka i was going to wait until after the wedding | novembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Young Anders aka you'd get on really well actually | novembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Zainab aka i don't want to hurt you | novembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Rasmus aka one day this will make sense | novembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Elder Wanda aka sorry i missed your call in March | novembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Duchess Kacper aka i've got a lot going on with work | novembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Cillian aka i thought you'd moved on already | novembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Governor Flavia aka you always knew i was a mess | novembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sweet Ilona aka our friendship is too important | novembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Matron Barnaba aka i knew you'd react like this | novembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Phoebe aka you're being dramatic | novembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Ferdinand aka i'm allergic to labels and cats | novembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Uncle Roberta aka nothing happened technically | octobre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Luz aka it was toxic for both of us | octobre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Mathias aka i liked her photo by accident | octobre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Envoy Jasmin aka we're cool yeah | octobre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Governor Delia aka i'll call you when i land | octobre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Rector Roberta aka maybe we should take a little break | octobre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Darius aka i left my toothbrush there | octobre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Careless Lottie aka can we not do this over text | octobre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Honest Vittorio aka i'm moving to Berlin probably | octobre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Padre Elodie aka we made each other worse | octobre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Duchess Celeste aka i was waiting for the right moment | octobre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Maja aka it's complicated | octobre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Patient Farida aka communication was always our issue | octobre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Konstantin aka i got a job offer in Dubai | septembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Joaquín aka i still have your hoodie | septembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Master Saoirse aka nothing happened technically | septembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Steward Rasmus aka i'm a scorpio it's not my fault | septembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Solveig aka i'm doing ayahuasca in October | septembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Hendrik aka i thought i wanted this | septembre 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Bailiff Jonas aka i muted you for my own sake | septembre 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Bo aka it's not you it's genuinely me | septembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Saint Tamsin aka i was clear from the start | septembre 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |