The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Padre Lena aka i'm allergic to labels and cats | junio 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Goran aka i'm really bad at goodbyes | junio 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Farida aka you never said you were upset | junio 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Judge Theo aka this doesn't change how i feel about you | mayo 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Coach Jinan aka we were on a break at that point | mayo 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Eamon aka that was my cousin in the photo | mayo 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nestor aka it's not you it's genuinely me | mayo 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Padre Sebastián aka your post is still coming here | mayo 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Alina aka i changed my number for unrelated reasons | mayo 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Sigrid aka i knew you'd react like this | mayo 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Aurelio aka you're going to make someone very happy | mayo 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Poor Niamh aka you never said you were upset | mayo 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Octavio aka i'm not over my ex yet | abril 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Abbess Cyrus aka i don't think i'm capable of that right now | abril 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Commodore Quentin aka i saw you at the market and hid | abril 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Tiny Nora aka i think we both checked out | abril 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Aditi aka long distance never works | abril 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Marchioness Rufus aka on paper it should have worked | abril 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Hana aka i've felt this way for a while | abril 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Genevieve aka we're cool yeah | abril 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Patient Bernard aka no hard feelings right | abril 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Xavi aka i was never really over it | marzo 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Jasmin aka i needed some time to reset | marzo 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Augusto aka i saw your story and thought of you | marzo 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Senator Mercedes aka you left your keys with my neighbour | marzo 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Elder Enzo aka my notifications were off | marzo 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Ingrid aka we ran out of things to say | marzo 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Vicar Aneta aka it happened really fast | marzo 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Squire Lena aka i'll call you when i land | marzo 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Vicar Barnaba aka you caught me at a weird time | marzo 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Lucky Cora aka you're being dramatic | febrero 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Tamsin aka this is for the best honestly | febrero 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nikolai aka the timing has always been our problem | febrero 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Podestà Otto aka you're being dramatic | febrero 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Prince Dilan aka you'll thank me one day | febrero 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Rector Simone aka i've been so busy this week | febrero 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Earl Serge aka i'm doing a digital detox | febrero 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Winifred aka this isn't serving me anymore | febrero 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Susana aka maybe we should take a little break | febrero 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Padre Oswaldo aka i've changed a lot since then | enero 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Faisal aka we got engaged actually | enero 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Clara aka i saw it coming honestly | enero 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Sanne aka on paper it should have worked | enero 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Ualter aka i'll text you tomorrow | enero 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Nuria aka we got engaged actually | enero 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Consul Karim aka i hope you meet someone incredible | enero 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Master Lidia aka you seemed fine about it | enero 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Erasmus aka can i still come to your sister's thing | enero 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Governor Cyrus aka you were never going to be happy with me | diciembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Fidel aka i saw you at the market and hid | diciembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |