The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Padre Lena aka i'm allergic to labels and cats | juni 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Goran aka i'm really bad at goodbyes | juni 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Farida aka you never said you were upset | juni 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Judge Theo aka this doesn't change how i feel about you | mei 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Coach Jinan aka we were on a break at that point | mei 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Eamon aka that was my cousin in the photo | mei 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nestor aka it's not you it's genuinely me | mei 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Padre Sebastián aka your post is still coming here | mei 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Alina aka i changed my number for unrelated reasons | mei 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Sigrid aka i knew you'd react like this | mei 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Aurelio aka you're going to make someone very happy | mei 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Poor Niamh aka you never said you were upset | mei 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Octavio aka i'm not over my ex yet | april 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Abbess Cyrus aka i don't think i'm capable of that right now | april 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Commodore Quentin aka i saw you at the market and hid | april 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Tiny Nora aka i think we both checked out | april 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Aditi aka long distance never works | april 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Marchioness Rufus aka on paper it should have worked | april 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Hana aka i've felt this way for a while | april 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Genevieve aka we're cool yeah | april 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Patient Bernard aka no hard feelings right | april 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Xavi aka i was never really over it | maart 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Jasmin aka i needed some time to reset | maart 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Augusto aka i saw your story and thought of you | maart 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Senator Mercedes aka you left your keys with my neighbour | maart 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Elder Enzo aka my notifications were off | maart 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Ingrid aka we ran out of things to say | maart 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Vicar Aneta aka it happened really fast | maart 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Squire Lena aka i'll call you when i land | maart 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Vicar Barnaba aka you caught me at a weird time | maart 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Lucky Cora aka you're being dramatic | februari 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Tamsin aka this is for the best honestly | februari 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nikolai aka the timing has always been our problem | februari 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Podestà Otto aka you're being dramatic | februari 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Prince Dilan aka you'll thank me one day | februari 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Rector Simone aka i've been so busy this week | februari 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Earl Serge aka i'm doing a digital detox | februari 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Winifred aka this isn't serving me anymore | februari 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Susana aka maybe we should take a little break | februari 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Padre Oswaldo aka i've changed a lot since then | januari 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Faisal aka we got engaged actually | januari 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Clara aka i saw it coming honestly | januari 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Sanne aka on paper it should have worked | januari 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Ualter aka i'll text you tomorrow | januari 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Nuria aka we got engaged actually | januari 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Consul Karim aka i hope you meet someone incredible | januari 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Master Lidia aka you seemed fine about it | januari 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Erasmus aka can i still come to your sister's thing | januari 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Governor Cyrus aka you were never going to be happy with me | december 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Fidel aka i saw you at the market and hid | december 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |