The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Duchess Viggo aka i binned the toothbrush sorry | noviembre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Doctor Hendrik aka i'm off social media for lent | noviembre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Marko aka we don't have to make it weird | noviembre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Zebedee aka i assumed you knew | noviembre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Patient Sebastián aka i handled that badly and i'm sorry | noviembre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Leandro aka you'd get on really well actually | noviembre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Doctor Raquel aka i just need to sort my head out | noviembre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Coach Cora aka do you ever think about that trip | noviembre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Professor Colette aka i'll be a better person eventually | octubre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Madame Nell aka can we go back to how it was | octubre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Chancellor Tadeo aka i'm keeping the gym membership | octubre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sweet Ferdinand aka i've been so busy this week | octubre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Doña Gabor aka my friends said i should end it | octubre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Master Nils aka i was in airplane mode all weekend | octubre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Old Marisol aka it meant nothing i promise | octubre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Brigadier Milena aka i just need to sort my head out | octubre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Don Noel aka i have a kid now | octubre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Oleg aka i saw it coming honestly | septiembre 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Amos aka i'll be a better person eventually | septiembre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Martina aka i have a kid now | septiembre 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Rector Idalia aka this is exactly why i didn't say anything | septiembre 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Rodrigo aka it's not you it's genuinely me | septiembre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Oswaldo aka i tried i really did | septiembre 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Pilar aka i don't think i'm capable of that right now | septiembre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Big Eileen aka it was a really old photo | septiembre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Hilda aka i handled that badly and i'm sorry | septiembre 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Saint Katya aka i handled that badly and i'm sorry | agosto 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Abbess Godfrey aka we should have never started this | agosto 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nils aka work is absolutely insane right now | agosto 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Thea aka my last relationship really messed me up | agosto 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Lady Klaus aka i've been meaning to reply | agosto 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Lady Gaspar aka give me until after christmas | agosto 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Podestà Juno aka i should have said something sooner | agosto 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Kacper aka calm down | agosto 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Marcela aka i started therapy because of you actually | agosto 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Yolanda aka it's complicated | julio 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Comrade Astrid aka you'd really like her | julio 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Stefan aka i've been ghosted before so i get it | julio 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Doña Susana aka you'll be fine you always are | julio 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Odile aka you were the best thing that happened to me | julio 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Comrade Cillian aka i'm seeing someone now | julio 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Celeste aka we're so much better as friends | julio 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Senator Mustafa aka i'm not proud of how i handled it | julio 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Patient Konstantin aka we're cool yeah | julio 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Fat Mohan aka she's nothing like you i promise | junio 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Young Manon aka it was a really old photo | junio 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Padre Ramiro aka i was waiting for the right moment | junio 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Alba aka i'm not a mind reader | junio 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Baron Caleb aka i moved back in with my parents | junio 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Morag aka do you still have my charger | junio 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |