The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Little Milena aka my last relationship really messed me up | diciembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Big Elias aka i'm seeing someone now | diciembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| The Honourable Gaspar aka i left my toothbrush there | diciembre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Ensign Jolene aka i saw it coming honestly | diciembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Luca aka i couldn't give you the family thing | diciembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Sir Winifred aka i'll call you when i land | noviembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Madame Dalia aka you never said you were upset | noviembre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Ramiro aka you'd really like her | noviembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Colonel Wanda aka give me until after christmas | noviembre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Galina aka i tried i really did | noviembre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Marquis Leandro aka i was drunk that whole month | noviembre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Governor Santiago aka she knows all about you | noviembre 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Herald Yannick aka this is exactly why i didn't say anything | octubre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Governor Casimir aka nothing happened it just stopped | octubre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Admiral Lachlan aka i don't owe you an explanation | octubre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Curator Amos aka we were basically already broken up | octubre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Svenja aka i liked her photo by accident | octubre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Ahmed aka i kept the mug | octubre 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Corporal Verity aka i'll always care about you | octubre 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Little Hessa aka i outgrew it i think | septiembre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Warden Winifred aka i don't want to ruin what we have | septiembre 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Little Bartosz aka i'm just not in a good place right now | septiembre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Rolf aka i'm keeping the gym membership | septiembre 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Pascale aka my mum never warmed to you | septiembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Steward Gabor aka let's revisit this in a few months | septiembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Honest Halina aka my last relationship really messed me up | septiembre 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Conrad aka you'll thank me one day | agosto 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Sheriff Sabine aka i need to work on me | agosto 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Old Paz aka nothing happened technically | agosto 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Master Josefa aka i'm just really bad at texting | agosto 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Elke aka i knew you'd react like this | agosto 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Don Iona aka you're being a bit much | agosto 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Tove aka i'm not proud of how i handled it | agosto 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Podestà Aisha aka i can't read minds | julio 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Gustavo aka i saw it coming honestly | julio 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Brother Armando aka i'm working on myself now | julio 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Little Mercedes aka let's just see where it goes | julio 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Little Ciaran aka labels ruin things | julio 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Livia aka i took a test and i'm an ENTP | julio 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Milos aka i just need a bit of space | julio 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Doctor Zainab aka i think about you sometimes | junio 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Padre Saoirse aka we don't have to make it weird | junio 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Casimir aka you never said you were upset | junio 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Sergeant Dilan aka i don't really believe in labels | junio 2021 | Still in captivity |
| Little Tariq aka we made each other worse | junio 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Gerhard aka we got engaged actually | junio 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Cardinal Amos aka my last relationship really messed me up | junio 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Admiral Pepa aka my new girlfriend follows you now | mayo 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Warden Chidi aka the dates don't line up how you think | mayo 2021 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Ivo aka i don't want to put a label on it | mayo 2021 | Turned into powder to feed hens |