The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Duchess Viggo aka i binned the toothbrush sorry | november 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Doctor Hendrik aka i'm off social media for lent | november 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Marko aka we don't have to make it weird | november 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Zebedee aka i assumed you knew | november 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Patient Sebastián aka i handled that badly and i'm sorry | november 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Leandro aka you'd get on really well actually | november 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Doctor Raquel aka i just need to sort my head out | november 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Coach Cora aka do you ever think about that trip | november 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Professor Colette aka i'll be a better person eventually | oktober 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Madame Nell aka can we go back to how it was | oktober 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Chancellor Tadeo aka i'm keeping the gym membership | oktober 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sweet Ferdinand aka i've been so busy this week | oktober 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Doña Gabor aka my friends said i should end it | oktober 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Master Nils aka i was in airplane mode all weekend | oktober 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Old Marisol aka it meant nothing i promise | oktober 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Brigadier Milena aka i just need to sort my head out | oktober 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Don Noel aka i have a kid now | oktober 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Oleg aka i saw it coming honestly | september 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Amos aka i'll be a better person eventually | september 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Martina aka i have a kid now | september 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Rector Idalia aka this is exactly why i didn't say anything | september 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Rodrigo aka it's not you it's genuinely me | september 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Oswaldo aka i tried i really did | september 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Pilar aka i don't think i'm capable of that right now | september 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Big Eileen aka it was a really old photo | september 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Hilda aka i handled that badly and i'm sorry | september 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Saint Katya aka i handled that badly and i'm sorry | augustus 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Abbess Godfrey aka we should have never started this | augustus 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Nils aka work is absolutely insane right now | augustus 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Thea aka my last relationship really messed me up | augustus 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Lady Klaus aka i've been meaning to reply | augustus 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Lady Gaspar aka give me until after christmas | augustus 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Podestà Juno aka i should have said something sooner | augustus 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Kacper aka calm down | augustus 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Marcela aka i started therapy because of you actually | augustus 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Yolanda aka it's complicated | juli 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Comrade Astrid aka you'd really like her | juli 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Stefan aka i've been ghosted before so i get it | juli 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Doña Susana aka you'll be fine you always are | juli 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Odile aka you were the best thing that happened to me | juli 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Comrade Cillian aka i'm seeing someone now | juli 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Little Celeste aka we're so much better as friends | juli 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Senator Mustafa aka i'm not proud of how i handled it | juli 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Patient Konstantin aka we're cool yeah | juli 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Fat Mohan aka she's nothing like you i promise | juni 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Young Manon aka it was a really old photo | juni 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Padre Ramiro aka i was waiting for the right moment | juni 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Alba aka i'm not a mind reader | juni 2022 | Still in captivity |
| Baron Caleb aka i moved back in with my parents | juni 2022 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Morag aka do you still have my charger | juni 2022 | Turned into powder to feed hens |