The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Little Hakim aka i'm seeing someone now | mai 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Foreman Mercedes aka Mercury is in retrograde | mai 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Fenella aka i thought i wanted this | mai 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Arjun aka i'm doing ayahuasca in October | mai 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Simone aka happy birthday by the way | mai 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Lady Cesar aka let's keep it casual for now | mai 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Big Eamon aka i don't really believe in labels | avril 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Coach Lars aka i have a kid now | avril 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Admiral Casimir aka i'm still figuring myself out | avril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Zelda aka i muted you for my own sake | avril 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Lord Chidi aka i need to focus on myself for a while | avril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Benedetta aka the timing has always been our problem | avril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Baroness Livia aka i have a kid now | avril 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Hector aka you were the best thing that happened to me | avril 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Bailiff Lidia aka i hope you find what you're looking for | avril 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Hopeless Nazir aka i took a test and i'm an ENTP | avril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Herald Nadja aka i don't want kids and you did | avril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Carlota aka i just need a bit of space | avril 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Prince Cora aka i deleted the app | avril 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Marchioness Blaise aka you deserved better than what i gave | mars 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Nurse Samira aka you'll find someone amazing | mars 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Natasha aka can i still come to your sister's thing | mars 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Cosmo aka i'm bad at feelings | mars 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Brigadier Gustavo aka i stopped feeling it around March | mars 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Vicar Astrid aka nothing happened it just stopped | mars 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Nerea aka i'm doing a digital detox | mars 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sweet Heidi aka i'm still figuring myself out | mars 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Brigadier Tariq aka you always knew i was a mess | mars 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Colette aka communication was always our issue | mars 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| The Honourable Otto aka we were basically already broken up | mars 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Godfrey aka i wasn't going to tell you like this | mars 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Fausto aka no hard feelings right | mars 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Matron Nikolai aka my flatmate answered my phone | février 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Jorge aka i need to focus on myself for a while | février 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Clive aka i unfollowed you it wasn't personal | février 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Enzo aka i can explain the receipts | février 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Halina aka we were on a break at that point | février 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Thierry aka i was single when it started | février 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Magistrate Hakim aka i thought i wanted this | février 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Doctor Manon aka are you up | février 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Dalia aka i was clear from the start | février 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Ragnar aka i'm not proud of how i handled it | février 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Magda aka i'm allergic to labels and cats | février 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Iona aka i genuinely forgot we had plans | février 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Bailiff Arjun aka i miss the old us | février 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Bishop Solveig aka i'm choosing myself for once | janvier 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Viscount Celeste aka i don't want to put a label on it | janvier 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Reverend Apollo aka you're being dramatic | janvier 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Alderman Gemma aka no bad blood right | janvier 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Little Margit aka you would have done the same | janvier 2024 | Still in captivity |