The Official Roach Registry
Every roach below was named by somebody who decided a particular person had earned it — a best friend, a sibling, a colleague, an ex. Entries are reviewed by a human before they appear. We publish the roach’s name, the roast, and the dedicator’s first name — never a surname, never an email address, never contact details for anybody.
Named the wrong person, or want an entry about you removed? Tell us and it comes down. No argument, no form to fill in twice.
| My little Roach | Adoption date | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| Little Jesper aka you're too good for me | janvier 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Bruna aka i thought you'd moved on already | janvier 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Freya aka Mercury is in retrograde | janvier 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Chief Octavio aka i deleted instagram for my mental health | janvier 2024 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Fiona aka it meant nothing i promise | janvier 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Provost Solveig aka can i still come to your sister's thing | janvier 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Inspector Galina aka i'm seeing someone now | janvier 2024 | Still in captivity |
| Countess Oswaldo aka in another life definitely | janvier 2024 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Samira aka maybe we should take a little break | décembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Harriet aka we got together after us obviously | décembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Lord Beau aka new phone who dis | décembre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Little Fabrizio aka let's keep it casual for now | décembre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Constable Jolene aka i don't know what i want yet | décembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Verity aka Mercury is in retrograde | décembre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Sergeant Lidia aka no hard feelings right | décembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Edgardo aka the timing has always been our problem | décembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Warden Susana aka i want you in my life just differently | décembre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Prince Godfrey aka my therapist mentioned you again | décembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sweet Nora aka communication was always our issue | décembre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Cardinal Sebastián aka maybe we should take a little break | novembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Rita aka let's revisit this in a few months | novembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Corporal Javier aka i got a job offer in Dubai | novembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Blaise aka i'm moving to Berlin probably | novembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Omar aka no hard feelings right | novembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Armando aka i genuinely forgot we had plans | novembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Klaus aka i miss you but i'm not coming back | novembre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Sister Imogen aka my therapist mentioned you again | novembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Auntie Nestor aka i've been off my phone lately | novembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Constable Tomasz aka i tried i really did | novembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Judge Wanda aka i'm allergic to labels and cats | novembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Sergeant Jonas aka this is exactly why i didn't say anything | octobre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Chief Selma aka this is for the best honestly | octobre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Franco aka you're reading too much into it | octobre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Careless Gwen aka i knew you'd react like this | octobre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Señor Kacper aka we were never officially anything | octobre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Bailiff Josefa aka my mum never warmed to you | octobre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Egon aka you left your keys with my neighbour | octobre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Hopeless Gio aka i'm getting married in June | octobre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Inspector Nabil aka it's complicated | octobre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Señor Jasmin aka you can keep the plant | octobre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Elder Bahar aka i'm a scorpio it's not my fault | octobre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Boris aka i'm getting married in June | septembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Honest Octavio aka i'm just really bad at texting | septembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Steward Nikolai aka i need to protect my peace | septembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Corporal Ciaran aka we're so much better as friends | septembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Little Duarte aka it's a long story | septembre 2023 | Still in captivity |
| Doctor Lena aka i thought you'd moved on already | septembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |
| Little Salma aka i need to work on me | septembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Honest Nuria aka on paper it should have worked | septembre 2023 | Freed into the Colombian jungle (survival mode) |
| Envoy Ilona aka you caught me at a weird time | septembre 2023 | Turned into powder to feed hens |