Skip to content

Roach Someone Properly

Home
Shop
Registry
FAQ
The Farm/La Finca
Contact

Cart

Your cart is currently empty!

New in store

Adopt a Cockroach — The Full Commitment

$9.00/month

Name a Cockroach
Supreme Roast — Name a Cockroach After Your Friend or Your Ex

$25.00

Name a Cockroach
Premium Roast — Name a Cockroach After Your Friend or Your Ex

$20.00

Name a Cockroach
Basic Roast — Name a Cockroach After Your Friend or Your Ex

$15.00

Name a Cockroach

Named, notarised, and living in Colombia. Petty, but make it luxury.

Shop
Registry
FAQ
Terms
Privacy
Contact

RoastMyEx.com sells a novelty gift. The roaches are real — Blaberus giganteus, a species native to Colombia — kept and cared for in a managed colony on private land in Colombia. No roach is ever shipped, mailed, or sent to you or to the person it is named after. The certificate is a keepsake, not a legal or scientific document. We are not affiliated with any zoo, conservation charity, sanctuary, or research institution. Registry entries are moderated and we remove anything that names a private individual in a harassing way, targets a minor, or is used to threaten. Certificates and registry entries can be taken down on request.

© 2026 Roast My Ex. All rights reserved. Some of the people named here are not.